As a someone who has moved house about 15 odd times in 24 years defining “home” has been a bit of a journey.
For a long time I struggled with the want of having somewhere spatial to ascribe “home.” As a child I held onto the houses of my friends for that spatiality. As those friends drifted away throughout my teens I continued in ascribing the term to interpersonal relationships via the relative static of message-boards and “blogging” sites (if the way in which I used LiveJournal and Tumblr could ever be described in that way, which is dubious). As an adult I’ve found, however, that “home” is more a feeling than anything else. It exists most in my sensory perceptions of specific experiences. Under this understanding the voice or presence of another person may signal home, but so too may the crunch of snow beneath my boots or the smell of wet ground.
In that vein I’m taking ENGL 496 (Literature and Dysfluency): a seminar that’s 100% irrelevant to my degree insofar as I can tell, but is also 100% relevant to my experiences as someone who has spent a better part of their life struggling to communicate in one capacity or another. Although I’ve been fairly averse to sharing my coursework through this blog, I’ve spoken to some of my experiences as a stutterer/aphasic here before. Even in the short time since writing that post much of my relationship to speech has changed quite significantly. Most predominantly I’ve found myself much less ashamed of my stutter (in its many forms) simply due to the fact that over the last year-and-a-half I’ve become progressively more aware of situations in which others stutter. In the above linked-to post I reluctantly described the privilege of hearing others stutter (or, realistically, otherwise struggle with speech) as “coming home.” At the time it seemed almost an overdramatic description, but considering it now it’s perhaps one of the more apt things I’ve ever written.
Between now and April I’ll be posting once or twice a month on the topic of dysfluency, and although my schedule and topic choices are as-of-yet quite tentative I’m posting here a hypothetical breakdown of what can be expected in the coming months:
- Blog post: an explanation/exploration of the stuttering pride movement (January 23rd)
- Blog post: stuttering “pride” in comparison/constrast to one or more LGBTQIA2+ movements (January 30th)
- Likely to be posted, but not intended at-face as a blog post: final research paper proposal (between February 20th-27th)
- Blog post: A personal response to David Mitchell’s Black Swan Green, and selections from Michel Foucault’s Discipline and Punish (March 6th)
- Blog post: Instances of musical dysfluency, drawing on 1-3 songs from here (March 27th)
- Likely to be posted, but not intended at-face as a blog post: Instances of musical dysfluency – presentation slides (March 28th)
- Likely to be posted, but not intended at-face as a blog post: final research paper (April 3rd)
Although this is obviously a fairly personal agenda I’m looking forward to seeing and hearing others’ thoughts on these posts as they go up.
Here’s to experiencing home.